Public displays of affection! Mass shootings! Drugs, deities - it's the first day of class, and a world-weary real-life Prof. G. explains why you can't send naughty photos to your classmates and why it's important to out-run the criminology students. In this original one-act performance, you're a student again, and Prof. G presents his survival guide for community college. A dark comedy about social interaction, education, mass media and why it's important to sit next to someone who is sexually unattractive to you - your future may depend on it. Triggers: Occasional profanity, gun-wielding duck.